It’s already cold in DC, but nothing the weather can throw at me here is compared to Rochester!
I’m currently working for Ping Pong as a server. First US out post from across the pond, and it has been pretty bumpin’. This has kind of given me more time to work on my portfolio so this is kind of a win-win situation for everyone. Come visit me while I’m working!
I’ve read a quote “moving forward doesn’t always mean you are leaving something behind” but does that mean moving backwards doesn’t always mean you are leaving things ahead?
I guess what the point I get is that why count those proverbial eggs before they hatch, just as much as learning from our past mistakes. Moving forward is about carrying the knowledge ie “baggage” with us, and we don’t want to get ahead of ourselves before we actually get there.
So I get out of the Friendship Heights Metro late (surprise!). Thank God the red line is already so safe and effecient, that I don’t ever have to worry about delays, or being in a horrible train crash, but that’s really besides the point.
Anyways, I get off the escalator only to see that the lady in front of me has terribly scabbed/bloody heels. I know what you are thinking, it’s beyond foul, and no one wants to get off a moving staircase looking at what seems to be a mini-CSI scene.
I mean her pink and brown flats were mildly attractive, and I might just be using mildly too liberally… but really wtf is up with the heels? I know people bare a lot of pain for fashion, but really lady, your feet look like they’ve survived Shark Week, buy new shoes.
Situations have a way of surprising you every once in awhile. What is life without being kept on your toes right? I feel like I often times rehearse the way I expect things to work out the next day, or whenever I plan something to work right before I go to sleep. I’m not sure if this is a fairly common practice, but I think I do my best brainstorming before I lose all consciousness apparently.
Anyways, so the point is that as much as I love order, things working out the way I plan, being realistic in my own capacities, and being methodical, sometimes things can change for the better. I also believe in serendipities, so maybe I’m just setting myself up for these happy little unexpected outcomes. Either way I’m not complaining. I try to safeguard myself from disaster, but why shield myself from life’s pleasant reminders that it’s working out more beautifully then we could have designed,
Sometimes we wait so long that we lose sight of what we really wanted in the beginning. It is easy to forget that our journey is often mutable, veering here and there. If we aren’t careful or observant enough, we may end up in a completely different destination from where we first aspired.
I don’t know if I believe in a grand design of sorts, but the human life cycle is somewhat concrete. We are permutations of generations, to thrive and flourish, to grow old and pass. The number of rotations we take around the cycle may be disputed, but for this conscious moment we are alive.
I want to propose a policy of good intentions upon ourselves, we need reminders of who we are in order to awaken who we want to become. Yes someday we will be gone; it’s really only a matter of time, but we have until then, to lead fulfilling lives and make the most of it. Perhaps as we grow older our mortal character only exaggerates cogitation of our existence.
This would totally be my club anthem.
I don’t feel terribly verbose in paper, but I tend to like writing. The more I get into it, the more I can appreciate the craft for what it’s worth. Being in front of people all of the time in the admissions office gave me the confidence to speak intelligibly and informatively. Sometimes when I type, I still skip over words, forget where the thought is going, or get too caught up on the grammar. I can understand why sometimes people just want to type asdfkhagfopaf you know?
There are also so many shortcuts and little nuances of this “internet-age-lingo” that goes way above my comprehension. Like if someone were to say “what a BAMF” I would say “whaa?” oh Bad Ass Mother Fucker…. Silly me. Did I mention English wasn’t my first language? Ok that’s not really an excuse, but it is true that I went through ESL (English as a second language) way back when.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not sure if I quite know what I’m getting into with this whole blogging ordeal. If you really know me, this isn’t something I do normally. I don’t understand Twitter, the new Facebook, or a lot of the words a certain “gamer” uses. I guess this is my shot at hitting mainstream, or something.
Ha, ok this reminds me of the time in seventh grade when Xanga used to be in. I wasn’t particularly great (if you can categorize greatness) at it, but was some how coerced/peer pressured into using it. It was really silly, who would care what seventh graders wanted to share? I think we used to think we were very important or something? I guess what I really want to state is that those were the days where my AIM screen name was SayHiToUranus, we played with hermaphrodite bears called Herme, awkwardly took English class with Mr. Earle, and would have warning wars on AIM. We were such silly kids back then, gosh I can’t imagine the little people we used to be.
Oh and I guess the point is look how far we’ve come eh?
Life is full of goodbyes, probably even more hellos, but one thing that’s certain is that I’ve never really been good at saying bye. Lately I haven’t been true to myself, what makes me think that all of a sudden I’ve become someone who graciously exits stage left? I’m the kind of person who knows life moves on, that even when we do nothing, we are being swept swiftly down the rapids of time which ceases to stop.
If you think about it, there really isn’t time to say goodbye in the world we live. If you want to talk to someone, you can pick up a phone. If you want to see someone, you can walk, or hop on a plane. I guess nothing in this world is as final as we want to admit.
As far as when we leave a place, I think it should be about taking what you have accumulated and moving on. Sometimes you don’t need to look back as we say goodbye, there really is no glory in repeating the same successes. I fully believe in looking forward, where new challenges will test what you are made of, and what we may aspire to become.
I don’t think I’m ready to stop yet, and maybe being in Rochester for four years has stagnated a part of my yearning to grow. I’m at a point in my life where I want to keep traversing foreign landscapes. I can’t force anyone to continue with me and most certainly won’t lag behind with them. I guess leaving the option open makes me feel unapologetic for my wanderlust ways. I hope you all well and for those that care, you know where to find me.
…and I’ll finish with some lyrics by Speech
A Traveller
“Times a wasting days are short
at night I’m rolling in my sleep
I got a heart that’s made for moving
the gravel goes by fast
my feet ain’t made for standing
I got no favorite coffee shop
where the folks know who I am
a car and a full tank of gas
my suit case has had it share of traveling
I’m hoping to see a brand new path
a whole new way and a ray of light”
Every once in awhile, something can change our lives and it may take us a long time to realize what exactly the change might be. We may leave hoping we can only do better the next time, and wish for another chance to go about it. Maybe the true realization is that we could not have done it any more perfectly, and that this was how it was meant to be. Regardless of the circumstances we are placed in, they vary so widely that we have no reason to fall under conclusions, instead to gather our prospective futures.
I guess the closer I get to July 24th, the more inevitability sets in. I’m leaving four years of college behind, the people, places, the library, the familiar. All I can take are two lousy suitcases, my two saxophones and hope for the best in DC. I guess you can say that we have done this before. It was only four years ago when I got on a plane, leaving behind Hawaii, Punahou School, and replaced it with the University of Rochester, in what used to be glaciated lakes across Western New York.
Something still feels different; maybe I just expected something else. I’m caught between excitement and disappointment. I don’t know what I would have done differently, but is this how I imagined what I would have gotten out of four years. Maybe this is the part where I need time to realize how much has changed. I hope the contrast of DC will illuminate the way.
